Screw The Compatibility Test, This Is My Pick

When I was a teenager, I tried to flip and see myself the horoscope and astrology section of a newspaper or a magazine. There I found myself next to a magazine and newspaper stand aimlessly and desperately flicking around the same pages on what the stars are saying how my lovelife would turn out and which type of bachelors would be my compatible partner. Yet as we turn ourselves into a spectrum of more mature age, finding a person embodied of the qualities of compatibility is not as easy as picking it out from a newspaper stand nor from gazing and asking it from a ball of hot gas found millions of lightyears away from you. So, I decided to ask some of the local women on how they think their compatibles should be.

April said:

“I want a man who’s really sweeeeeeet. A man who would call me every morning just to say how beautiful our morning is and a guy who would give me surprises every now and then. I want to feel like I am a princess when I’m with him, and a true gentleman to add.”

Sara also said:

“For me I think a man who’s honest and the one who can make me feel like a knot is tying inside my tummy. As I am a busy type of woman, I guess a guy who can cook can definitely pull my garters up. If he’s a good kisser then that would be a bonus.”

Jessah says:

“I think my compatible guy would be someone who’s not going to freak out if I suddenly burst my emotions running through my eyeballs. A guy who would listen to me when I talk all the time, even though I knew sometimes I can be too naggy, he will be there to say that everything’s gonna be okay.”

There we have it, some of the bachelorettes here in Cebu sharing their ideas of their personal compatible person. So what’s your pick? Are you still trying to find your guy through what you read from a horoscope or a compatibility test? Forget that piece of paper giving you the identity of your perfect match, try mingling through the crowd and choose the best guy for you.

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The Gamble for Love

They say that every gambler has their hands down on the deck, prepared to give up anything and win everything.  A gambler is a lot like a woman in love, willing to bring all cards on the table to turn the stroke of luck on their side. Yet when it comes to matters of the heart, everything we have is nothing else but a bargaining chip that is used to bet against destiny and time. How far can we gamble what we have for a certain relationship in which we do not know what comes tomorrow? And are we ready to give up everything to turn the tables of destiny?

Most risk takers believe that chances only favors for those who are mentally prepared. However when we turn to the aspect of gambling our personal identities for a relationship, it has gone off the borderline of what is logical and irrational, making all our decisions and choices to be fragile or even worse, futile.  The shroud that clouds our rational thinking on everything has been one of our key weaknesses against time and destiny on the other side of the table. With our logical senses being dismembered, we turn to our feelings and intuitions to continue all along our gamble for our relationship.

Piece by piece, time collects its bounty from what we placed as a bet on the table. Our relationship has been permitted by time to continue, yet here we are struggling with bargaining chips barely left to spare to play along the game.  Nonetheless, we women are fine with it as long as we have been able to keep up and made what we think is better for our relationships. Yet when we see that we lose everything that we have for our relationship, we wake up and ask ourselves if how long we should keep this up.

We learn to compromise on things that we know can be sacrificed, yet we should always remember to invest to ourselves prior to give up anything. In the first place, we cannot give what we do not have and therefore, we should always put ourselves first before anything else. Time and destiny can be our greatest enemies at the table, but if we are prepping up with the necessities, we can surely beat them with a game called “The Gamble for Love".

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The Un-skinned Cock-a-Doodle-Doo: Pro's and Con's

A discussion about deciding if a child should be uncircumcised or not is a definite no brainer, yet when we are being held up on a discussion about the same un-skinned topic about a sexual activity, everything gets a little bit unusual.  There has always been this pop culture among most local women that suffices the idea of having a sexual partner that should “cut”. But when we face down a reality among men that are uncircumcised, it never helped me to wonder if are there better things you can expect from an uncut guy?  Or does the pop culture of having sex with a circumcised guy stands tall with its evidences that guys that are cut are definitely doing it better? 

Let us try to list down the things we don’t like and we might like when it comes to an uncut guy, and comparing the list at the end to conclude if it’s going to be a worthy experience or another bump on the road.

You'll Like it Because...

The skin does not only serve as an outer covering, but it is the home of million nerve endings that stimulates more pleasure when doing it. For a guy whose cap is removed, it is said that he loses a 12- square inch highly erogenous tissue that brings about his satisfaction to a hundred times better. Compared to a circumcised male, the uncut guys are easily stimulated by our touch. Therefore, it would be good for us who spends most of our time wondering how our man can get it stand tall and proud. As the sleeve can be a good way to enjoy your male partner, heads up ladies as this not-so-useless sleeve also helps in the lubrication of the penile shaft that makes an uncut guy more comfortable and pleasurable for any kinky females.

If you’re also doing a blowjob for an uncut guy, then you’d be praised ten times better from a circumcised guy. As they are more sensitive to our touches, imagine what we can do with it through our playful blow by blows. 

You'll Hate it Because...

The first impression of it, which is some kind of new to our sight, definitely turns you off the first time you’ll see it. As we turn ourselves into what we see and what we might get, we have this idea that what we don’t like seeing might be bad also with its performance. Furthermore, an uncircumcised man has also this generalization to be unsanitary. As it has been mentioned in both the medical and the religious aspects, the idea of having your sleeve stay on a guy’s manhood contributes itself to be a lot messier.

The flapping skin also harbors tons of bacteria causing it among men to be more vulnerable to penile infections, thus making them to be more sexually unwanted among us. As it has been a pop culture for us local women to have it with a cut male, being able to be within a different setup could put our experiences to be debunked as well as we might not know about how to deal with such unwanted skin all along.

So, have you decided if its going to be an experience for you? Or you consider it to be not o=in your sex wish list? 

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The Telltale Signs of Popping A Guy's Cherry

Society permits the idea of a guy popping a girl’s cherry, yet the same norms were unclear if the permission would be likewise for girls peeling a guy’s banana. Although society was on its grey area when it comes to the gender’s first time authorization, the only thing as clear as a crystal water was the fact that most men had their issues doing it with a first-timer girl. For the same reason of concerns while doing it with a female virgin, will the same problems be equivalent to an experienced woman doing it with a young padawan? And what are the signs that would tell if we are bringing home a pup instead of a man on a bed?

1 -The "May I" Interview

Although it’s sweet for a guy to be sensitive to what we feel, it can be annoying if he keeps on asking for things that he wants to do. Last time we check, we wanted him to screw us in bed with his moves not with his words, yet here we are having our little press conference on some things that he wants to do. For a girl who’s a blackbelt when it comes to sex, this sign can turn our “get-laid-meter” down to its negative point.

2 -He Lacks Skills

Since you’re bringing home a pup, you can certainly try to expect your sex to be as dull as a flavorless fruit. He just can’t hit the right spot, and not to mention, he might put it in the wrong hole (which can be more problematic). It seems like you have to place an X-mark for him to spot your G-spot, you have to do everything for yourself.  Although every girl has their right to scream like an opera singer when doing it, but pleasure while canoeing an elementary grade sexperience level cannot be that optimum.

3 -Your "Are We Done? Really"-ish Reaction

If you thought that a guy with lesser experience can hold it longer for you to enjoy the moment, then you thought wrong. One moment you’re just kissing and doing some foreplay, and the next thing you realize, he’s done and already came. It can be pretty devastating for you to hook up with a guy who’s not even considering your pleasure. 

4 -The Messy Sheets

If you’re doing it at the very comfort of your own bed, you better watch out for some of his “spe-semen” on your sheets. No girl would want to sleep with her sheets with a full grown man’s juice on it, what’s worse than that if you’re using white linens then you can certainly spot the mark where he blessed. If you’re the type of girl who wants her crib to be clean, doing it with an inexperienced guy can’t be the right choice for you.

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The Rerun: Cheating Again?

They say a girl can never be wrong with her intuition. Such fact holds a conviction that if we felt that our partner is cheating on us, evidently he is definitely canoeing someone right under our very nose. Yet for every knowledge and wisdom a girl gets from her gut, she never learned from the same mistake and the cycle goes on. Now the point is, are we really that caught up in our emotion that it has shrouded our logical and factual judgment of the cheating game? And are we really using our right side of the brain most of the time that when we find ourselves banging from what we think and we feel, we always end up on giving in on how we run our emotions?

Most of us, a simple sorry and a forgive me kiss can seemingly patch up the shattered relationship we had with our cheating boyfriends. True to the fact that 80 percent of a break-up is caused by cheating, and 50 percent of these break-up couples decided to give it a second chance. The percent of success in changing your boyfriend can seemingly be low, but the chances of a rerun would be on the contrary.  As the greatest men of science said that a man is naturally polygamous, they were able to create the greatest alibi a cheating man could ever hope to cover up for his deceitful acts.

When we tried to confide ourselves on the fact that our man is deceiving us, the right side and left side are literally having its brainstorming. We usually think that enough is enough and that he is not worthy of who we are, but then again our right side consciousness kicks in and turns everything into an emotional mayhem.  Our emotional side has been like an imaginary friend to us that talks and tries to give us an advice on not giving up with the relationship. But like an imaginary friend, everything you felt like things should be is part of your figment of imagination. As they say, “once is okay, twice is a coincidence and thrice is you’re completely dumb”.

Our intuition is like our bargaining chip and last ace against a man’s dishonesty. The reason why it has been installed for us like a GPS system is to use it well so that we know what’s coming with us, and believe me when I say that if your relationship didn’t work out, it will never work. Facing the facts with an open heart is a good thing, but opening it a bit too open can turn you into someone very much vulnerable.

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Here Lies, The Past...

As we are about to prepare and ready ourselves to honor the dead, I was thinking of how we can honor a dead relationship we had back then. They say that when a person didn’t have proper funeral rites, his presence will definitely haunt you for life. Will it be true as well that if our past relationship doesn’t have a proper burial, will it trouble us for life? Or should it be better if we bury all the things in the past 6-feet below the ground?

The relationship that turned into a fiasco can be a pretty big mess that keeps on banging back and forth to your left and right side of your head. Like a ghost haunting us and keeping us from sleeping tight on a bright night, the pseudo-ended relationship can definitely give you the sleepless night paired with a sack full of eyebags. Then, we turn to ourselves and choose the path to either be brave enough to face the jerk and give him a piece of our mind or just simply slip away and try to forget things and try to move on. As it can be hurtful to be haunted by the past, there is nothing as horrific as seeing him again knocking back on your life, wherein you’re unprepared and doesn’t know what to say.

When you turn back and try to run away from a stain of your past break-up, wouldn’t it give you the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” feeling? The same feeling that will definitely terrorize you from your remaining sleepless night. So, why not honor your jerk ex-boyfriend a big kick in the ass. Let him be reminded that it’s his loss and not yours. The only thing that you would be scared of right now is not his reappearing ghost, but the truth that you are about to shove into his face.

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Hey There, Mr. Right Guy!

Cebu City, the Queen City of the South, is a metropolis that brought along people from various places among the world. The same city has brought hundreds of bachelors that are being dreamt by the thousands of cebuanas that are waiting for their shining knight to give them their glass of slippers. Like a damsel in distress, we wait for the glorious and magical day to reveal itself, but for how long? Should we, the new generation of cebuanas, should keep up with traditions and wait for Mr. To-The-Rescue, or should it be about time to break the ice and explore the crowd of testosterone across the city?

As a woman with stature in life and was brought up like a princess at home, it has fabricated of our every DNA to wait and be begged from a guy to his knees on the floor to ask us for a single date. Theoretically, the above scenario should happen but as we turn on the news and check the statistics, the higher population of cebuanas compared to the city’s sperm count is nothing but a big reality check of the current events that we should not just give a cold shoulder. As many other bachelorettes are aiming for the cream of the crops, then the only thing that a waiting damsel in distress could ever get is a guy that has been characterized by other females as a jerk. 

Like an Amazonian with an Yves St. Laurent gown, we ladies should be as vigilant as possible while maintaining the poise of a million dollar girl. It is but a fact that we should swim in an ocean infested with Amazonian sharks that are also hunting for their Mr. Right Guy. So, it is now your choice to just sit alone or dance with the samba and jive along with others, which one would you choose?

Without a ring sealing the deal, we are nothing else but a damsel on her way on the corner of the street to find her own Mr. Right Guy and settle a life with her own happy little ending. Waiting is not going to make any difference at all, so is hoping. Our whole life is ahead of us and we try to see which paths we take, and maybe right on the avenue we can bump into someone and say, “Hey there, Mr. Right Guy!”

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The Whip Cream Trouble

As guys are quite very experimental on how they want to be pleased on the bed. We ladies are here as well to cater these wild thoughts into consideration and into realization. Such kinkiness has reached a level on inserting their manhood into various orifices they can insert it like an ATM card on a machine. Fortunately, women have their three major orifices that are like slot machines for guys to play with. Yet, guys nowadays are fond of putting it on somewhere where taste buds are naturally present, and believe me, the bleak problem doesn’t stop there. As much as we women would like to cater this fantasy for men, we have this dilemma to either take in the whip cream or not to.

Guys would need to seriously think twice before putting it in into our mouth. Imagine the consequences and sacrifices we have to make just for this pleasure – a cramped jaw, a gagging tendency, breathing through the nose with a thing stuck on our throat and a seriously troubled taste. Yet as a good girl waiting for her evening pleasure, we forget all these sacrifices for the man we love. Then and there, the guy would be pleased as he gets his head and we get our troubles on getting on it. If a guy’s whip cream could taste as good as a caramel espresso, then I’d do it for him three times a day, but no it doesn’t. According to a good friend name Jean, the taste is like a combination of rotten string beans and a tinge of chlorox, in a simple way of saying “it tastes horrible”. C’mon ladies, we need not to be hypocrite but sometimes our guy could need a little diet change from what we tasted, after all we are what we eat.

A friend made even a joke that if a guy would even taste his own spillage, he would then be in awe of how a woman could sacrifice that much for him and would give us a medal hanging on our neck that is going to be spelled with D-I-C-K. So, how can we try to make it a little less uncomfortable for us? Well, as I’ve done my homework so that I can enjoy this as much as possible, it has revealed to me that a proper diet could definitely make the cream a bit sweater. A pile of citrus fruits and the “no beer” policy could pull the trick. Or if you just can’t take it, then you can just tell your partner to warn you if its splurting out, that is so that you can easily dodge the fresh milk bath and still do it for him.

You know ladies, sex is supposed to be a mutual fun way of interacting on showing your intimacy to one another. Therefore, you should try to ease little problems with your man without compromising the kinkiness he wants. The whip cream trouble can be one of little problems that you can encounter, but we ladies are smart enough to do something about this. You have all the bargaining chips of winning out the evening escapade, try using one of them for once. 

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La Douleur Agréable

La Douleur Agréable, is a French phrase which literally means “the pleasurable pain”. Like an aphrodisiac, the paradigm shift of pain as something unpleasant has turned into the drive that makes the intimacy into a higher pace. Little do some people know that the pleasure beyond the pain is not only found on a sexual intercourse, but can be the living breath of the entire relationship. Let us go beyond the superficial sadism and masochism, and try to look into how it drives a typical Cebuana’s relationship.

As others may say that this type of relationship can be uncommon and too unorthodox, we are simply blind that we ourselves are experiencing the said intimacy right under our nose. For a concrete example, I was trying to pacify a friend named Ana who was not so well with her current relationship. She had this pattern to purposely amplify the emotions into a gazillion times, as she tried to submit herself with the relationship as she drowns herself into her own puddle of tears. In every relationship, she had this masochistic way of dealing with her own relationships, and she was indeed a good example of a masochist. It was a complete paradox of having the relationship while embracing all the negativity and the sadness as much as possible.

On the other hand, my friend Sam was a complete hundred eighty degrees, as she has her own little games of herself just to create a little spice up with her boyfriend. This game she had is definitely emotionally devastating, and causes lots of fights within the relationship. Then she said, “what’s hotter than a make-up sex?”. Then I found myself a living and breathing example of a complete girl sadist. Yet, she doesn’t even know that she’s trying to dominate the relationship with her tricky games with her boyfriend.

We may never know it but we all have the ability to execute our hidden sadism or masochism traits. Just a single thread to pull and you can definitely turn yourself into either the one who dominates or the submissive girl, without even knowing it. Next time you see yourself pulling up some strings on how you deal your relationship, try to list them and narrow it down to see which side are you on. 

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The Third World Promiscuity

As being defined as a sexual behavior that is characterized by the practice of a casual sex frequently with different partners, promiscuity has crossed my mind and tried to refer the said act within the local setting. With a place like Cebu City, the idea of a multiple sexual encounters has been considered as a taboo and can exceedingly cause tons of societal sanctions. So, how many is too many for a third world city?

Like a numbers game, the westerners have a complete thought about promiscuity and how they are gauging it according to the quantity of encounters an individual has performed. Due to some social constraints, it has been unclear among the locals on how to measure promiscuity based on the norms or set of expectations the city could offer. Furthermore, as I was trying to ask some of my contacts on how they see this issue, it has come to a point that the locality is turning promiscuity into the actual act of sexual intercourse (particularly the pre-marital sex). Yet, each of the person I ask could not give a definite number on which they think can be embodied someone as promiscuous. 

As I struggle myself to clear the waters, I tried to reach out and ask an expert’s point of view with this one, and I have asked a psychologist, named Tara, with the said issue. It was then that I was able to comprehend that promiscuity within Cebu City can only be categorized by as simple as trying to ask yourself if it is too much or not. Therefore, promiscuity is indeed a subjective matter that is being clutched by what we find of what is normal and what is beyond that. So I asked Tara, “So if a person should judge you as someone promiscuous, then it is definitely a hypocritical bullshit?”. Tara laughed and said, “Definitely, you know yourself better than the rest of the crowd.”

The turmoil within my mind was pacified and put in order as I was able to conclude that the degree of how a person could gauge promiscuity is equally proportional to how liberated a person is. Unfortunately for Cebu City, there’s a fine line between liberation and societal sanctions. Then, I tried to remind myself of why I am making this blog – to raise public knowledge and giving liberation to the Queen City of the South.

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Him – Me = X: A Silent War Between Ex’s?

The letter “X” symbolizes an unknown number of a mathematical equation. The same character has also been able to represent an archeological someone of each and every girl’s great history of a relationship. Like every fallen empire of the history books that we have read, most of the ended relationships we had with our ex’s would end with a tragic war. Through the time and experiences along with it, what are the reasons for the paradigmatic feud between old lovers?

For a girl who just broke her heart by the once perfect man of her dreams, the city as small as Cebu suddenly turns into an empty battlefield that is filled with emotional landmines, one wrong step and it will blow you into pieces. She just cannot let her ex see her with some drastic change from the way she was before. As I began to look into the catalysts of this war, I tried to talk to my best friend named Flordeliza. She told me that one reason that resonates the warfare between ex’s are their memories of each other.  Both the good and bad memories are like perfect reagents for a chemical formula that could leave a small detonator within a girl's mind, which by any second can blast her subconscious mind into nothing but a wreck.

On the other hand, Janet (a marketing expert and a good friend), made an excellent point on one of the reasons that could spark the bloodbath between both parties. She was able to indicate that love would evaporate alongside with respect if there was no proper closure to begin with. Like a wound added with a salt, the things that were not communicated and cleared by the partners before are like time bombs that were set to self destruct by the time that the relationship would end. Most of the time, the usual things that were argued over by the couples can definitely take the war at a higher pace, and usually can cause a lot of casualties along the way,

I tried to look into this topic as what I see as a paradigm within the locals, the war could not be as hard to avoid. Each of the ex’s should try to remind themselves that a relationship has a fine line that divides pleasure and pain, in which it was a stroke of the path that they have signed up in the first place.  Like a quilt and a parchment, a smooth and easy talk between parties and a proper closure is a form of a treaty between two parties to try and stop the wreckage of the war.

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The Myth, The Age and The Sex…

They say that the ability to delay a person’s gratification is a waving flag of maturity, so can it be true as well if we talk about sex? The times wherein we settle for what we think is socially acceptable, thus trying to inhibit our desires can sometimes put us into a frugal situation, however we would also want to liberate ourselves and quench for this sexual thirst. So, we try to comprehend and try to ponder on some thought on how often is being normal for a typical ripe Cebuana?

When I tried to approach and ask the same question on a girlfriend named Beth, she wisely told me that what she thinks of being normal is the borderline of what we want and what we need. A girl of her stature, a Human Resources Personnel and a typical Cebuana on her mid 30’s, can definitely enlighten someone like me who’s crawling on a gloomy staircase on its first step about the normal quantity of sex, she then  even joked that the number of sex is actually inversely proportional to your age. As our conversation went on, I realize that Beth was a little too safe for her answer, so I tried to twist our talk a little bit and asked her directly, “So what’s the number”, then she gave me a smirk and replied with a sigh, “4 times…” and the continued “… a month”. Then, like a reassuring friend I told her, “Well, it’s your normal range. What’s with the sigh?”.                

Then, Beth confessed that she could use a little more grease to fire it up a notch a little bit compared to what she is having currently, which is 4 times in a month. Upon her statement of the urge to break a record of hitting more than their usual quota, reality sinks in to Beth when she just stated that she could never ask for more when it comes to success in life. Yet, she believes that she is being punished for the success she is currently having, in her scenario a controlled number of sexual intercourse that seems to be like a prescription of a “penis-illinn” that should not be taken beyond the dosage.

On the other corner of Cebu City, I was also privileged to talk to a family friend named Shane, she was around the same age with Beth but she settled as a housewife. She is having her perfect little suburban life with her American husband. Both of them were sweet and were oozing with love to give to themselves and to others. Then, we began to talk like we never talked before. As our conversation progresses, I tried to heat the conversation by asking Shane how their sex life was. Luckily, Shane was too open and did tell me that her sex life was like a Year of the Dragon Chinese New Year, fireworks here and a big boom there. So, I tried to ask her the average times she was having an intimate escapade with her husband, and surprisingly, she gave a range of about 15 to 20 times per month.

As I went straight home, I tried to compare both Beth and Shane’s lifestyle and what could be the reason of their sexual differences. Was it the fact that Shane was married to a westerner? Or was it because Beth was the workaholic and the corporate type of woman? For every possible reason, I noted those down and tried to come up with an answer, and the best thing that popped out of my head was the fact that those two friends have different mindsets when it comes to sexual intimacy. The myth between age and sex is nothing else but the only thing that made us create a fence that stood high and almighty to keep us from what we desire – passionate sex.

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The Funny Shortcoming: Does Size Really Matter?

When we are brought to talk about sex and talking within the context of being satisfied with it, would the size of a guy’s penis be a variable? Well, it may not be a common mind popping thought among the Cebuanas (unlike the Westerners) but I would simply like to look into how the locals view this perspective as an independent element. Now, do a regular Cebuana find a small sized wiener a bit irregular? 

I have thrown the same question over and over again to some of my friends, relatives and even to strangers that I came across from the street. The answers came from them quite varies from how they perceive sex. Others may find it as a holy act that can be done after a matrimony, or others find it as something as casual as a commodity that should be experienced whenever and wherever they might’ve wanted to. These parallel definitions of intercourse have brought various answers on how a penis size should affect the satisfaction that each women’s desire.

For an instance, a close friend named Carla was able to enlighten me on how a size should be important on a casual sex. When I asked her how she defines casual, she said that it’s the buffet type of sex. Relatively speaking, it’s the kind of sex that is bound by the “No Strings Attach” rule. As our conversation got deeper, she told me that as she was able to experience a bunch of sexual intercourse from few guys, she told me that during each and every encounter she could then try to compare the size of a guy’s penis and how it made her satisfied. For her, the bigger it is the more it makes it hotter than the month of July. Yet, she tried to win over the conversation by saying that if the true-love-kind-of-sex kicks in, size does not matter anymore (well, I guess she never had her true love yet LOL).

On the other hand, I asked a somewhat younger type of audience. She was a younger sister of my best friend and her name is Monalisa. When I tried to inject the question through Facebook chat, I got a reply that says, “Of course, the bigger it is the better…”. It was like a wake-up call for me to see younger individuals to find and answer the question quite plain and direct to the point. Well, the answer may be direct but it has the same answer as to someone who’s older like Carla.

Then I’ve realized, no matter how time can seemingly change the game but could not ever replace the kind of players. Size does affect the satisfaction among women from different generations, although they have different ways of seeing and expressing this wild thought into a more socially acceptable way. Now, let’s try to evaluate ourselves and try to linger the same idea of how does a size affect a sexual satisfaction. I tried it, and here I am giggling into what my creative thought can offer me, then I say I’m guilty. If wanting a bigger size is a crime, then I’d be happy to serve my days in a correctional facility.

                                                                                                                                                                               

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