They say that the ability to delay a person’s gratification is a waving flag of maturity, so can it be true as well if we talk about sex? The times wherein we settle for what we think is socially acceptable, thus trying to inhibit our desires can sometimes put us into a frugal situation, however we would also want to liberate ourselves and quench for this sexual thirst. So, we try to comprehend and try to ponder on some thought on how often is being normal for a typical ripe Cebuana?

When I tried to approach and ask the same question on a girlfriend named Beth, she wisely told me that what she thinks of being normal is the borderline of what we want and what we need. A girl of her stature, a Human Resources Personnel and a typical Cebuana on her mid 30’s, can definitely enlighten someone like me who’s crawling on a gloomy staircase on its first step about the normal quantity of sex, she then  even joked that the number of sex is actually inversely proportional to your age. As our conversation went on, I realize that Beth was a little too safe for her answer, so I tried to twist our talk a little bit and asked her directly, “So what’s the number”, then she gave me a smirk and replied with a sigh, “4 times…” and the continued “… a month”. Then, like a reassuring friend I told her, “Well, it’s your normal range. What’s with the sigh?”.                

Then, Beth confessed that she could use a little more grease to fire it up a notch a little bit compared to what she is having currently, which is 4 times in a month. Upon her statement of the urge to break a record of hitting more than their usual quota, reality sinks in to Beth when she just stated that she could never ask for more when it comes to success in life. Yet, she believes that she is being punished for the success she is currently having, in her scenario a controlled number of sexual intercourse that seems to be like a prescription of a “penis-illinn” that should not be taken beyond the dosage.

On the other corner of Cebu City, I was also privileged to talk to a family friend named Shane, she was around the same age with Beth but she settled as a housewife. She is having her perfect little suburban life with her American husband. Both of them were sweet and were oozing with love to give to themselves and to others. Then, we began to talk like we never talked before. As our conversation progresses, I tried to heat the conversation by asking Shane how their sex life was. Luckily, Shane was too open and did tell me that her sex life was like a Year of the Dragon Chinese New Year, fireworks here and a big boom there. So, I tried to ask her the average times she was having an intimate escapade with her husband, and surprisingly, she gave a range of about 15 to 20 times per month.


As I went straight home, I tried to compare both Beth and Shane’s lifestyle and what could be the reason of their sexual differences. Was it the fact that Shane was married to a westerner? Or was it because Beth was the workaholic and the corporate type of woman? For every possible reason, I noted those down and tried to come up with an answer, and the best thing that popped out of my head was the fact that those two friends have different mindsets when it comes to sexual intimacy. The myth between age and sex is nothing else but the only thing that made us create a fence that stood high and almighty to keep us from what we desire – passionate sex.