Can You Change a Man?

They say that change is the only thing unchangeable in this world. People change their wardrobe, their hair color and even change their mobile numbers in a blink of an eye. If change has always been customary among every Cebuanos and Cebuanas, would it actually be possible to change a man for what we think would do better for a relationship?Or are we hanging ourselves in a losing fight knowing that a man could never budge an inch?

As my question stayed on my mind for a couple of sleepless nights, I tried to give a friend of a mine an evening ring. Her name is Gabrielle, and she’s married with a man she never thought she’d spend her eternity with.  Although I know that “Gabby” was not really pleased with the overall personality of her man, I tried to ask her if she attempted to change anything about her husband and see if that worked for them. She told me that if I am lucky enough, I would be lucky enough to go on with a man’s 24-hour sports channel marathon and his wardrobe issues. Other than that, you might be pulling a wrong thread to spike out a world war hey, also known as the battle of “this is me, so stop changing me” drama. 

When we ended our conversation and as I hung up the phone, the question mark on my face and mind were still so vivid that I continued to ask myself if it’s an unchangeable trait is on their DNA or if I was just with this specific guy who just can’t budge an inch, therefore I generalized all men to be like him. Although we might not seem to change them completely into a different and transformed man, we just want to pull out some strings to make things a bit better to work on with. Yet we must always remember that pulling out some string are quite dangerous, one wrong string and everything within the relationship falls down.

The science of change may never knock an opportunity for each of our men. However, we ladies should also remind ourselves to look for our perfect match, not someone we can change to be our perfect match. But if you still think you can manage to change a man completely without dropping some F-bombs on each of your faces, then go ahead and enjoy yourself some moments.

Read More

Caution: Bumps Ahead...

Most people say that a good relationship lies between good pleasure and controlled conflicts. As the pleasure spices up and sweetens your partnership, the conflicts are said to strengthen the bond of trust you have established with your lover. If the above statements hold true conviction of how a good relationship should be defined, how can we measure a conflict for it to be considered controlled? And how many bumps on the road should we suffer before we find ourselves sick of all the motions in this journey called love?

Every once in a while, a relationship steps into a single thorn amidst its sea of roses and is tested by faith and time itself. As we try to figure out with ourselves on the conflict that just happened, we have to basically choose whether we stay and go on with the relationship we just signed up for, or try to move on separate ways. This decision boils down to the frequent question I hear from crying ladies (even me), “should I quit?” As I began to throw this question to some of my trusted girlfriends, they were able to note that the quantity of the bump do not definitely matter just as long as the intensity of the conflict is not that much. Technically, the journey called love can be compared to a typical road trip. With every bump that we face on the road, we do not stop not until we face serious bumps that could definitely stop our cars in motion.

Conflicts are definitely part of the contract you signed up for in a given relationship. You just have to prepare yourself for this inevitable fact and try to give your fickle heart a heads up. Once you can feel the bump, then don’t be afraid to be taken and go with the flow. You’ll know when to stop, when your ride and journey called love just cannot continue. 

Read More

The One Night Stand: Girl's POV

A city as grand and small as Cebu has never been safer with the pre-marital sex topic tagged as the “One Night Stand”. With its main principle, which is to literally screw someone and to satisfy your instinctual desire for sexual contact, its idea and practice has spread as fast as an airborne disease could ever scatter all throughout even towards the outskirts of the city. Despite the fact that the only things you can exchange through a one night stand are body fluids rather than the personal story of your evening partner, can’t we really cling to the idea of a possibility of starting something beyond bodily desires from a one night stand, a friendship maybe or even better our perfect match? Can the thirst of sexual desire also quench every girl’s yearning for a meaningful relationship? 

Although most people (men LOL) might’ve overlooked the idea of finding someone special through this type of hook up, we women had always been emotionally attached that we draw all our decisions based on our emotions and instincts. Therefore, it is not our nature to randomly choose a guy across the dance floor and bring him home just because our G-spot says so. There has always been an emotional background or some tinge of instinctual act that we commit prior choosing the guy whom we could screw.  So, are we really hoping subconsciously that we are sleeping right next to a guy to whom we consider in having a deeper relationship with? And yes, deep down we are (given the fact, that we were not drunk or with shrouded judgment when going out with the guy).

Yet as we face the light of the early dawn and we begin to realize as we wake up with a stranger next to us, picking up a knight in shining armor earlier that night is as fast as how we women can spot traits of obnoxiousness that turns Mr. Right Guy that evening into Mr. Wrong Guy in the morning. As it is inevitable that we girls invest emotionally on all things, I guess it would be better to put in ourselves on the personal story of a guy prior dealing with their body fluids.

Read More

The "Everything Happens For A Reason" Philosophy

The phrase, “Everything happens for a reason”, is a cliché that has been most likely to be used by most of the Cebuanos with everything that is going on with their lives. Most of the people saying this line are Cebuanas, and most Cebuanas uttering this statement are those who just met the demise of their relationship. Besides our cold clenched jaw and sweaty palms, are we really turning into Confucius as we try to comprehend and try to grasp the possible reasons why faith and destiny placed us on a complete love roadblock? Or are we just using this intellectualization as a way of covering up our frustrations and depression?

It has come to my attention that every time a friend (or even me) landed into a failed relationship, someone’s there tapping your back and saying everything happens for a reason. The idea of this phrase has turned into a pattern that has been seemingly used colloquially as a form of comfort for a person in vain. On the contrary, during the saddest and worst part of your post breakup days, you just don’t know or even guess the reason behind it and all. As we can’t see the rationality of why our relationship has ended, it is safe to assume that we are stepping into a life full of random land mines that are ready to explode for every wrong step and decision you take.

Naturally, we can’t find the “reason” of the breakup not until we find another guy that we find to be more suitable for us. Have you ever tried hearing this from your friend, “You know what? It’s a good thing that he left a month ago. He just can’t see how special I am, like my new boyfriend can”. There you have it, most Cebuanas use comparison with their heartbreaker and to their current perfect man to find a more logical and acceptable reason of her heartbreaking past love story. So, are you like this kind of girl or not? 

Read More

5 Naughty Confessions:Make A Man Happy in Bed

The only things that can be better for men than waking up on a beautiful morning with their girlfriend are the things that we can do for them earlier that night. As we receive our daily love and faithfulness from our guys, it is but right to reward them with some things that they just can’t resist. What better reward that can be than a good sex and kinky intimacy moments that can definitely blow your guy’s mind. So, how can we make them go gaga for us in bed? Here are top 5 naughty confessions from Cebuanas on how they turn their heats on when its recognition day with their boyfriends.

Act 1 – Entice them Visually

As men are naturally visual creatures, we need to give them a heart skipping sight. One way of making them drool over you is to play dress ups or try some kinky costumes on that your partner may desire. Try to have a weekly dress up session and play along with him through numerous costumes that you can count on.  One of my friends has sorted it out with her partners through role-playing, a friend, who is a nurse, would use her nurse outfit on trying to portray a sexy nurse role play with her boyfriend, with matching stethoscope on her neck and unbuttoning some parts of her uniform.

Act 2 – Find Those X-Marked Horny Spots

Believe it or not, like women, men also has their weak body spots that can drive them crazy once you start to cuddle, kiss or even stroke it. Being able to find these hidden places, you can definitely turn their normal night into a pleasure marathon evening.

Most of the time, the areas are located on the inner thighs, the groin, their neck, scalp or even their lips. Try to uncover these spots and use it when you’re on the foreplay part, and trust me, when you do this at the right and on the right place, your guy will sing hallelujah to the heavens.

Act 3 -  Do a Good “Job”

Another thing your man could definitely appreciate is when you do your “job” as how they want it. Nonetheless if it’s a blowjob or a hand job, you got to do it as how they would like it. For an instance, another friend named Suz has confessed that she’s doing the art of fellatio to her boyfriend every time it’s their weekend rest days. One of the many things a girl could do wrong when they are giving their boyfriends a head is that they suck it all the way instantly. Hence, every girl should learn how to be playful with this type of lovemaking to make their guys feel more appreciated in their own ways.

Also, when you’re doing a hand job for your boyfriend try to have a rhythm and never ever hold it with a strong grip that wouldn’t allow blood flow, as it is going to be painful for him.

Act 4 – Do His Favorite Positions

Although you may have read from other posts or books that you should try to experiment with other sex positions, but some positions are best left to be more theoretical rather than be done. Hard position can give you some muscle pains or spasms if not done right. So, try doing it how your man would love to and try to accommodate his fantasies. 

Act 5 – A Good Morning Breakfast in Bed?

If you’re wondering if this is really helpful, then yes it is. A good morning breakfast in bed would definitely seal the deal that you just made last night it’s more like of a bundle of joy after a party. It would really make him like he’s very special and loved. But of course, you have to make the breakfast by yourself to make it more special for him.

So there you have it, the 5 naughty confessions from our fellow Cebuanas. Try to do this and see the results. 

Read More